36 seconds ago
🇺🇸 DISTRITO V
Few are the restaurants that can rival the tourist traps on the Rambla. There is artistry in alleviating you of your money and lavishing you with subpar grub and sugary sangria. But a cynic might remark: who hasn’t fallen prey due to exhaustion, ignorance or laziness? Here, @distrito_quinto outshines all contenders. Because the deception of this “tapas resto&bar” is so vulgarly common, you’d rather deny it happened.
Like Andersen's vain emperor, you’re attracted by the #hipster aesthetic. A contemporary interior, a guitar session in the corner and lively voices welcome you. Plates in various turquoise shades contrast with the wooden tables. You peruse the menu… attractive typography and fair prices. It’s cool, fun, fitting for you.
The shock of being duped comes alive as soon as you get your first tapa. Seemingly a bite or perhaps smaller, you stare in disbelief at your mini-hamburger. Next, a few chunks of fish float in the tablespoons of avocado soup and onions - your ceviche is ephemeral, unlike your hunger. A slice of goat cheese on some watermelon. With each plate, the promise of food persists. Deconstructed, minute, fleeting - your food remains an idea, never quite materializing.
To complement your dull dishes, the removers of dishes come by with the grace of mosquitos in a humid summer night. In broken English and fast-paced Spanish, they persistently ping you whether you need something else. Your stomach rumbles, but your pride wins. Prior to gentrification, this used to be a Turkish joint — perhaps you can grab a hamburger once done with dinner. You smile and politely decline. There is no empathy in their eyes.
A slight gulp escapes when you see your bill, the only thing bigger than you expected. As you leave, you stare at the 5 star hotel @BarceloRaval that supplies many of the flies for this carnivorous plant of a restaurant. Distrito V, like the emperor’s weavers, has mimed feeding you. Now, like the naked emperor, you continue your procession, a victim aware of hollow #gastrobarna .